Thursday, January 20, 2011

My Job. Defined.

I am CB's Personal body guard.
You should know that shit by now.

Now I know just how important my job really is.

See that fucking body?
That is my fucking J.O.B.

I get have to guard that shit?
Thank You God!!!
(I love my fucking job.)


Friday, January 14, 2011

I Take A Shot And Get Blamed For THIS???

Picture this.

You have a shot handed to you.
You put the glass to your mouth.
You tip your head back.

And all hell breaks lose as you close your eyes....
and take your shot.

Next thing you know, The Queen has sent her

Yes, her fucking BLOG LINK
to her kids teacher.

How the FUCK am I to blamed for that shit?!?!?

Now I have a fucking teacher to kill,
an email account to hack and delete,
and a flogging to look forward to.

All because I took a shot 4 seconds after they did.



Wednesday, January 12, 2011

An Email and A Move

When I said I would be CB's body guard I didn't realize what I was going to go through with her ass. I got an email from her today, a forward from The Wizard, saying that he was in poor health and wanted her to take over Oz.  She told me to pack my bags and sent me out for red nail polish.

Whatever The Queen of Mean says.....

Now I'm waiting for her to come out of the stiletto store, where she and The Princess of Hotness just HAD to stop at for new shoes. They said something about used shoes couldn't touch the floors in the new Palace. Whatever. They just better not come out with new shoes for me.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

CB Security! I Found That Bitch!!

I dare you. I fucking dare you. Tell me that this ISN'T that bitch!!

Like I said. duck-billed platypus.

Send Em

CB has already proven to be tough to keep up with, so send everyone here. It's tough to protect CB and find all the cool kids to hang out with. Have them follow me, and I'll do the same.

The Man

Saturday, January 8, 2011